Friday, January 10, 2014

H O M E is wherever I'm with you : part seven

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six

All my, "I'm gonna be a'okay" feelings melted away all at once and all the jitters and shakes and even those pesky butterflies were back in business for sure. As if I was calm, cool, and collected I sent back, "Hey :)"
Something deep inside me felt like this conversation was about to be a big deal. Something big was going to happen...I just knew it! He was typing...
"So, I don't know what I'm looking for, like a letter to fall from the sky saying its okay to talk to Allix..."
I melted. Like a candle near a flame, like snow in the summer sun, like butter in a hot frying pan. My insides fluttered and flittered and my palms got sweaty. "He's been wanting to talk to me." I gulped. "But why?" The giggly feelings halted. I needed to reign it back in. My thought process sped forward. "Our conversations had just gotten so common the abrupt end to them has probably just been an uncomfortable life adjustment for him. He probably just misses me as a friend, that's all." The walls I had taught myself to begin building began to slowly rise again. As I thought; he kept typing.
He wanted to know if him not talking to me had been helpful. {We talked as if it had been months...not the several days or weeks it had truly been. ;)} I was brutally honest. I said it had given me lots of time to pray and evaluate my feelings but it had hurt and been hard. However, I knew life wasn't supposed to be all rosy, peachy keen, and easy so in the whole grand scheme of things I was doing okay. He laughed. I asked if it had helped him. He couldn't say for sure...he didn't really know. Basically he didn't like not talking to me so he didn't know how to answer my question. Was it hard on his flesh but good for his spirit? He couldn't really tell.
"He misses me. Whether its as a friend or more than that...I don't care. He misses me." Either way, that made my heart get all warm and fuzzy and sentimental. Just like a girl. ;) 
He then asked if him continuing to talk to me would be a huge distraction for me. *Face Palm*
"Something's gotta give! We can't keep going back and forth with this!"
Mama looked me straight in the eye and said, "You have to ask him what his intentions are. That is the only way you'll be able to clearly interpret his conversation. And that will also determine whether or not it's a distraction to you." She was right. Man! Why are moms so right all the time?!
Though I was scared to death, I posed that dreaded question to him and told him why I needed to know. It felt like a glorified version of those notes you quickly pass your crush in the school hallway that say " Do you like me? Circle One - Yes, No, Maybe"
"That's only fair that he tell me. I have to know. If he likes me then that changes everything and we don't need to just keep acting like nothing's up. And if he doesn't like me I can't keep talking to him. It won't be good for me because of my own feelings. Either way. I have to know." I tried to steady my breathing. I sat there on the floor of our laundry room adjacent to the kitchen that my mother still stood in cooking. It was agonizing waiting for him to finish typing. It seemed like an hour. 

He was probably trying to break the "just friends" thing to me but didn't know how because he was unsure if it would hurt me or not. As I decided upon this, he finally finished and sent his answer.
"Let me tell you a story...."
He went on to tell me a funny story about his friend Reece going to ask the dad of this girl that he liked, Hannah, to be in a relationship with her. I held my breath. It seemed unreal but this was kind of the grand reveal {almost} that he did have serious feelings for me...wasn't it?! Why ELSE would he have chosen to tell me that story?!?! In the agonizing minutes waiting for his response I passed the time with driving myself mad with racing thoughts. 
"What I'm trying to say is, Reece was put on the spot."
I tapped my feet and bit my nails. Typing. Typing. Typing. Typing. TREVOR RUBY WAS TYPING.
"And since I'm being put on the spot like Reece...."
I wanted to throw the phone. The dot dot dot thing was literally KILLING me. Fifteen minutes between short sentences that should have flowed seamlessly together...seriously?!
Then there it was.
"I would have to say....I would have to say I'm very interested in you and praying about it. I'm seeking the Lord and looking for peace in the know that the Lord is on my side on this." 
I finally let out a huge sigh of relief. I felt like happily weeping but instead I just laughed and smiled crazy big and let him know that, in that case, because the feeling was mutual...he needed to talk to my dad before we talked anymore. "That's also fair." He replied.
He said he would need to talk to his pastor, Charles Leiter first. "Maybe he won't whack me with a big stick. ;)"
I continued to laugh and smile and bask in the mind blowing glow that was rushing over me. Finally.
He said he had to go because he was late for Bible Study. I thought maybe he was preparing to talk to Charles then and there after everyone left the Bible Study but I wasn't really sure. Maybe not. Either way he was going to sometime. That night, several hours later I received,
"May I have your dad's contact info?"
It felt so odd and surreal as I typed in Daddy's cell phone number and sent it. 
"I just gave him my dad's number. He's gonna talk to his pastor! And then he's gonna talk to my dad!!! About ME! Because....he's me!" I had a smile so wide my cheeks ached. Finally. Something certain, something real. No more guessing. I liked him and that Georgia boy, he liked me back. :)

to be continued


  1. you're story is truly wonderful (and entertaining) and such a joy to read <3

  2. oh, my. so sweet. i literally gasp and my eyes go wide whenever i see you have a new installment of this story. :) love it!

  3. YAY. This is such a happy story. Can't wait for the next part! <3

  4. THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. (love you. <3)

  5. just so you know, I've been checking back every half hour this morning waiting to see this post. ;)

  6. This story is better than any movie hallmark could ever make! In fact, I think it could be made into a movie...I would watch it! I love a good love story that has God at the head of the relationship.

  7. such a joyful twist to the story - so super excited for the next part *hint, hint* :)

  8. Beautiful! God truly does write amazing love stories! Can't wait for the next part!

  9. these are just way too short. post more soon!! :)

  10. Ohhhhhh Allix! Each time you post another part of your story, I go from having tears in my eyes, to laughing out loud, to gasping in horror. I cannot express how much I adore reading these posts. CANNOT WAIT for the next part. :)

  11. Erm, I liked this. Well done! When this becomes the old past, this story would be a great example of how many relationships and crushes went along (hello technology). Now I have to go back and read the other parts! Do you have the entire story already written out or are you writing it as you go along?

  12. Oh this story warms my heart! Part 8 soon? Please?

  13. Whenever you're ready to post the next part, it's greatly anticipated ;) :) No rush though!!


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